Mark Zuckerberg; Knowing Whats Important in Life - Sleep and Sex!

"..Facebook executives told their Microsoft peers they couldn’t do an 8 a.m. conference call because the company’s 22-year-old founder and chief executive, Harvard dropout Mark Zuckerberg, wouldn’t be awake... Microsoft executives were incredulous.

...At one point in the Yahoo negotiations, the talks extended into the weekend..Mr. Zuckerberg..said he couldn’t take part because his girlfriend was in town. Others pointed out they were closing in on a billion-dollar deal. Mr. Zuckerberg said it didn’t matter: his cellphone would be off"

(Source: http://memeburn.com/2012/05)

Rugby WC 2011

Rugby World Cup 2011. Loving it. Just loving it.
Lets totes get something 'straight-up' here. I am not reaaaaally a rugby fan. For realsies. Fan of 'nice-rugby-man-legs?' Perhaps. Fan of the actual game. Not so much.

Until now.
Until I decided that I would just get annoyed with my next few weekends activities being disrupted by game times, soooo I decided that if I couldnt beat them, I'd join them.

Also.. it means I can get all patriotic and stuff (Bokke and the Rose- Yes I'm a Mongrel).
I can also shout things like;

'C'mon My Sons!'

Or

'Pack It In Ref!'

Or

'Hooker!!!' (really loud and pretend its to the TV and NOT at some random chick attempting to talk to my man).

This was my (and other devoted supporter Claire's) actual table at Forries.

This is an actual dog.

...And this is the actual reason we watch Rugby. ;)

BOKKE! Moer Hulle! :)

So, I have launched in FULL FORCE. This is my actual car.

Anything Goes, But Clothes

If you were going to a party with the theme ‘Anything Goes, But Clothes’.. What would you go dressed in?

These were my ‘bright’ ideas:

- bin bag lady (soooo white trash)
- dress made out of condoms (you’d be very safe...)
- dress made out of sweets (my favourite choice but feel I would end up ‘well-nakey’ before  I’d even left the house).
- dress made out of ex-boyfriends broken hearts (joke, there wouldn’t be enough of those around to cover one cheeky nipply-nip)

Condom Dress

Chocolate dress - Yummy!

-wrap oneself in masking tape (thinking Sexy stroke Hot stroke Catwoman style) i.e.

You get the picture. However....

I cant help but think I would actually end up looking like Vera Duckworth (in latex)?

Vera Duckworth

Anyways, so I decided to get all pate on you all (patriotic) and go in a flag. No UK flag was found so I went in a dress made up of The Awesome Green and Gold.


The SA Flag Dress

 

The BFF's black bin bag and Woolworths plastic bag dress!

 Unfortch, my totally awesomely put together ‘flag dress’ went unnoticed.. thanks to my friend who went totally nakey... except for a donkey. Yes you read that right. His ass was on show in both senses of the word.

Anyone for Pizza?

Blogger Fail

Yes, I am a Prime Example of a Blogger-Fail. 
Guys, Gals and Non-Bloggers; its like a relationship - at first NOTHING will stand in your way of blogging and just you can't stop chatting...

The beginning is all lustful, all-time consuming, just wanting to 'get jiggy' with your 'bloggee's'.
The next thing you know, work gets in the way... then there's the headaches.. blah blah blah.

So I 'm just letting ya'll know that I'm putting the SPARK back into my blog.. The 'bow chica wow wow chica chica chica bow chica wow wow'. 

(But starting from later today cos I have just checked my emails and WOW DENISE, WOW).



Mondays! Sigh...

Mouth-Salvatoring

Sorry I haven't been blog-aging but I've been busy.. alright?

;)

(Did I sound like a chav then? Should I have added the word 'ennit' and maybe thrown in a 'thats WELL good'?!!)

Friday 13th...There we were... (by we, I mean Rocker Girl Emu and I)...in the middle of the LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONGEST Friday known to mankind. The 13th day no less, when suddenly I was alerted to this mouth-salivating (or shall i say mouth-salvator-ing??? snigger snigger) news piece; 

Damon Salvatore (Ian Someholder) was spotted. Just wandering around South Africa

..in broad daylight.

First of all, he must of been wearing his 'day ring'. Second of all. Just a little pissed off that he didn't call. He was in Sandton (where I just happened to be 2 weekends ago). Ian, please. We have talked about this. PLAN BETTER.

 

Social Experiment

Check out this RAD social experiment guys! 

Social Experiment

NB: I especially appreciated the Zuma and shower one... For those of you who prefer to 'Lose' rather than 'Use' the News, and pay no attention at all ...blatantly UK-ers.. and probably from Gloucester lets be honest - ;).. well if ya don't know the background to THAT story check out the headline below from 2006;

Sigh. 

A very short post because am being killed with business...:) (oh, and I thought this was totes awes).

"A Man really has 2 options.. either STAND UP and be the man she needs...

Or SIT DOWN.. so she can see the man that STOOD."

The End. (Promise I'll be back soon! :) )

You're Having a Woolly Scarf Mate!

Hey Tetley Tea-ers!

So it's Easter! Which means only 3 things:

1. Jesus did a really really REALLY cool thing. Big Up. We totes Love Him for his Amaze Awesomeness.

2. Lots of CHOCOLATE! Note to Man Friends , Dad the Lads, Brothers and Boyfs:  Girls need more chocolate then you boys. Yes we do. You see, we need to build up 'extra padding' to keep warm (and limit the moaning) through those totes freezing, toe-trembling, ears-breaking-off, nose-turning-blue nights. (Therefore feel free to (at any time) present your Sister/Daughter/Girlf/Lady friend with chocolate at will, at any time and do not question when it is demanded).
3. Time for Winter shopping! (yes I know its 28 degrees in Mossel Bay, but its Winter dammit!)

I am a Winter-Hater. Yes I am. I am, oh I am. I am a Summer-freak, a lover and indulger of all things that are warm, yellow, round and spits out rays of tanning-ness. Howevs.. I do like the Winter fashion (being British for all those many years, you gotta kinda master the art).

So I hit the shops for some retail therapy today with the Bee-Maker (Mom a.k.a Goddess of all things). After a mere 20 minutes, we managed to pick up a Winter bundle of awesomeness. I'm ready to rock and roll. I'm ready to kick Winters Ass so hard, it just may have second thoughts of visiting SA again. 

I'd like to think, that in my woolly getup, I look as cute as a button. Not to mention irresistible to all men (who the minute they see me will fall in love (and lust), want to pick me up and squeeze the 'Bee-jeezus' outta me (see what I did there?)).

There may also be the very small chance that perhaps my hat looks just a little like a Tea Cosy, and my scarf could definitely multi-task as a rather generous duvet... (does my neck look fat in this?) Ah well. If I look pants, then bugger that for a game of soldiers. I'm Warm So Screw It.

(Private Note to 'Hunky Man From Shop', if your reading this; there is plenty of room for 2 underneath my Tea Cosy).

Happy Easter my Bunnies!

Wills has changed his royal Relationship Status from 'engaged' to 'married'.

Since my career specialization is Online Marketing and this is a British Chick's blog, I thought this would be an appropriate link to post; Prince Willy and good ol' Kate's royal wedding being one of the hottest social media topics. Imagine the following scenario:


Important Priest Man: Do you, Prince Wills, take Catherine to be your lawfully wedding wife? Yes? Well quickly whip out your Blackberry then and get updating, cos everyone knows it ain't official till its on the Book of Face.


Like? Click here for the story.

Monday Mornings Suck.. but at least they're Cheap as Chips!

Good Monday morning!

Ok, not such a great Monday morning...  I have realized 3 things. Ok one fold:
This Monday morning, I have realised that bitches and bastards get rewarded in this life. However I have a question... In the end of it all, how does that get you first (or even business) class into Heaven?!

Second fold:
This past weekend I have realised that a douche couldn’t park properly and jaggedly-sliced my new car down the side. (My car has since retaliated and its battery committed suicide in an act of utter pissed off-ness) so thanks. Douche.

And third fold...
When I am drunk, I am not a liar. I tell the truth unexplainably, uncontrollably and without intention. That is... this is what I have always believed. Until Sat night (after being kicked in the teeth by 3 angry glasses of white wine; me and white wine = passionate love/hate relationship), I realised I do lie about one particular thing when drunk. What is that one thing? (I hear you question). How Drunk I Actually Am.

It usually goes something like this;

Me: but I loooove you!!!
Unfortunate-Friend-Who-is-Now-Designated-Driver: I know
Me: But I hate your shoes!
Unfortunate-Friend-Who-is-Now-Designated-Driver: really? 
Me: Yeh, and, and, and... Your new boyfriend is a bit of a Wally
Unfortunate-Friend-Who-is-Now-Designated-Driver: silence
Me: I’m DEEEEEEFINATELY not drunk.
Unfortunate-Friend-Who-is-Now-Designated-Driver: ok.

However Monday mornings are not all bad if you live in CT!

First fold (and take notes peeps – cos for today...);

• Spur: 2 for 1 burgers!
• Happy Hour at Arnolds between 430 and 630.
• Steak, chops, salad and mushroom sauce at Polana for only R50.
• 50% off sushi at Codfathers.
• R25 cocktails, R15 for draughts at Cafe Sofia.

Second fold.
These are the two top keywords that people typed into Google, and found this blog:

Classic.

Muslims Kick-Ass at Facebook

So.. apparently Indonesia has leapfrogged, high-tailed it, pegged it, legged it, Olympic'd it past the UK and settled in at the No 2 spot for most active Facebook users country in the Entire World. (Just under the US of A - naturally).

(Some Geeky-Nerdy-Googlized facts for ya'll; Indonesia contains 17,508 islands and is populated with 238+ million people).

(It also has the world's largest population of Muslims - I Wikipedia'd that). 

South Africa didn't even make it past Pakistan at number 30. I thought mine (coupled with Undercover-Blonde-Crazy Hair-Crazy Clothes-Crazy Boots-Boutique-Person's- you know who you are u minx!- combined daily useage of the book of face would jump South Africa right into No. 1 alone but whatevs. Stats are obviously bollocks). 

Facebook Stats April 2011

Facebook hey.. 'a stalkers dream come true'. 

Therefore maybe we Westerners should avoid Indonesia as a holiday destination? Just a thought. Pakistan seems to have less of a Stalking-Risk..

I'm a Slave for Her!

And.. She's back!

The Many Lives of Miss Britney Spears:

Oh, how I 'heart' the jacket slash 'Slave for You' vibe slash new hot bod.
Oh! How I need to revert back to 'au natural' again and go back blonde..

Its Britney biiiiitch

Survivor Story

Good Tequila Tuesday Tetley-Tea-ers!

So, if you know me - you will know I survived this Monster virus-thingy called Guillain Barre Syndrome. For those who don't know, it basically paralyzed me for yonks and landed me in an Intensive Care Unit on a life support machine (prime position by the window by the way - you only get that if you are a Permanent Resident).

-----Bee kickin' some GBS ass

Also got a waaayyyy rad cool article written up in Cosmo UK mag! 5 mins of fame..

Whoop whoop! So please guys,  sign up to my friend's blog - GBS South Africa


P.S - we are totally going to organize a Rockin' Partaaay with a load of Very Cool UK bands coming over to Cape Town to raise money for the GBS Turtle.. I will keep you posted...


P.P. S and I am Totally getting one of these bad boys..

OMFG indeed.

Fooled by Google

Anyone committed an April Fools act this morning? (Just so you know if you do it after 12pm you are officially known as  a Moron apparently).

I 'book of faced'  that I had; 'had enough and was leaving SA for good. Expect me back in the UK next month, I will miss you all'. Had a few heart attack phone calls (mainly by my mother admittedly), and one from a BFF who nonchalantly asked if I was planning on shipping my car.. and maybe she could look after my cat (and the car).

Google have always been the king of April Fools. Check out the success stories of Google's 'new' beta feature... here! (Check out the success stories).

I couldn't resist (obviously..) so I applied..

(FYI: Description 1 was: Blimps kill over One Americans per year.)

and got this...

Gotta love those Googs Geeks! And thats not all.. clickety clickety click-click HERE to see the full extent of Google's cheeky monkey antics.

It's the weekend baaaaaaaby!

The Shortest Blog Ever

I got an email today (OK... not so much of a wow-factor, I do get lots of emails per day). But this one just said this:

:)

That is the first happy face I have seen all morning. True Story.

Roll on Friiiiiiiiiiday!

Cape Town - Consider Yourself Warned

Ek is baie jammer guys and gals! I have been extremely busy with working and Googling and all sorts of work-related shenanigans, that I have completely Let Down my no 1 fan, Random Citizen by not being an 'active' blogger of late.

Apologies Random Citizen.. I am back!

So tomorrow evening, me and a handful (OK much more than a handful.. a comfortable 5 cars-full..) group of girls in little black sexy dresses and high heels will be winging their way to Cafe Chic in Cape Town. They will be indulging in what is fondly known as chatter, chuckles, muchos vino and muchos good foodo.

My friend, 'Rannnnnndom-Old-Colleague-That-Turned-into-Besty-Friend-Ever-Vibe' and I do this once every so often. We organise a girls-only dinner, where everyone brings a friend (must have The Boobs - aka - be female). We are not allowed to sit next to our friends and therefore we meet a ton of new awesome chickitas to spend our evenings downing shots of wine with! Score.

Look out guys.. For a huge pile of scantily-clad Cape Townian hotties descending this Thursday Night. 

Cape Town - I did warn you. 

Bad Moon A'Risin...

Nothing can capture the Friday feelin' like this ultimate tune-age!

All Eyes on Me, In the Centre of the Ring.. (Just like a Circus)

So last night, I entered the Circus.

I was at the circus with a bunch of clowns. I then proceeded to hit the Dubliner in Long Street Cape Town to drink Tequila and watch Crimson play.. (with a bunch of clowns).

Now I have to tell you, I am an avid lover of the animal-species. Therefore I would be lying through my straight white teeth (thank you Mom for those years of pain and embarrassment of braces), if i said i was not worried. Cos I was. Totes immensely.

I felt that if AT ANY TIME, an animal had a SLIGHT look of distaste / unhappiness / boredom / pain / agony / disinterested / eff-you-all look on his furry little face, I would not be responsible for my actions. I was Fully Prepared to launch into that ring and inflict necessary, boundless, excruciating, agonising pain on the involved Clown/Circus freak.

You will be happy to know (or maybe you wouldn't be? I'm not familiar with your sexual preferences), to know that this type of Crazy, Insane British-Hooliganism Violence turned out Unnecessary (although I'm convinced those fire-breathing hotties may have benefited from a good spanking).

The Circus rocked, the animals were gleaming, fat and happy (although I still believe they should rather be running free, wild and careless - a bit like Charlie Sheen), and muchos tequila was consumed recklessly.

Happy Thursday my Tetley Tea-ers!

Its not Me, its Most Definately You

You know when it really is him? And you leave him, and then you think

Wow. What just happened?

I think we should be able to say it. No beating around the old bush, but 'Listen here dude, You suck'.

It can only help. Think of it like the ultimate assistance for Woman-kind everywhere. You are doing all women a favour by telling a dude if he is an ass-cravity (of course this depends if said Ass-Cravity realises errors in ways. Not likely but whatevs).

In fact, think of it like this, You are doing Man-kind a massive favour too! How can a guy get it right next time if noone tells him, that sleeping with your aunt's sister's mom's dog is just Not Acceptable? Men need our help girls. its a fact. In the wise words of the Great One - James Brown

'This is a Man's World
But it wouldn't mean nothing, without a woman
Man makes everything he can
But you see a woman makes a better man (yeh give it to me again Jameso!)

A woman makes a better man'

End Conclusion is this: boys are idiots. Men are awesome.

P.S. Today my girlies (and wonderful man-followers), I received a lovely request from an anonymous citizen asking if Tetley Tea girl would just get her ass into gear ('cos I havent blogged for ages...) What a delicious compliment! I will Never Let You Down Again Random Citizen. :)

Backstreet's Back

Today, I executed an embarrassing schoolgirl error*.

I was at desk, ears plugged. I was working, diligently, 'hardly' (!) and with intention. Suddenly, I was rudely interrupted by my super-hot-leggy-blonde-colleage Rocker Girl Emu.

Rocker Girl was Taking. The. Piss. Out. Of. Me. (diligently and hardly and with intention).

It was my own fault, as mentioned above*. I let myself down. I let the whole team down. (The team being; The Secret Society of Appearing Cool on the Outside but Having an Undercover Desire to Listen to Total Cheese club (a.k.a SSACOHUDLC)).

Now I'm not talking Bryan Adams cheese here people, I'm talking Full-On-Cheesy-Doritos-Mashed-with-Quavers style, BSB (for those of you less developed, aka. Backstreet Boys). Yep you heard me right. 

'If you want it to be good girl, get yourself a... bad boy'

I was unconsciously crooning at my desk and performing obligatory 'Backstreet Boy / N'Sync head movements', when Rocker Girl noticed. Cue hyena-hilarity chuckles.

This, my friends, is my schoolgirl error. Rocker Girl will not let me live this moment down. I just know it.

But today I have decided that I just don't give a scrote. In fact, 'Thats the Way I Like it'. Plus, its Friday. And anyway, I now have achieved my 13 year old Bee ambition - I can now Rap all the words to 'Get Down'. Perhaps I should get a life and listen to some dub-step.. But, I can't get a life, if my heart isn't in it..